I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
