Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
