mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
