never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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