Welp...herpes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
