I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
