Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
"it" just moved
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
