where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
