Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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