he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
