so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
