so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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