I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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