..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
