OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
