Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
