I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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