sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
