Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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