this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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