i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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