Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Found the puke drawer
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
