I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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