Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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