You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
