it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
