Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
