I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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