new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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