Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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