I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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