What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
