Kiss
Puke
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
