So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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