Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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