Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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