Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
