Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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