respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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