I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize