He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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