people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize