i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
false alarm. still invincible.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize