That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
