Already got asked if we're dating
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
pray to the hookup gods
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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