I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
