Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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