I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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