is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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