Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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