you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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