My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
