He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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