He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
