I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
