No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
