Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
