just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He has the fingertips of a God
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize