party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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